The choices I made when facing some of the biggest losses of my life were absolutely the most transformational. And it was the intensity of the grief, anger, and devastating loss that fueled those changes.
The events may be completly unavoidable, but how we choose to hold the experience and the meaning we make is up to us.
This is one of things I feel passionate about. I hear someone is going through a break up or divorce and I feel a sense of excitement of the potential in their future. An opening up of never before seen opportunities that could be a better life than they had previously imagined.
What got me there was holding that simultaneously with the intense emotions that came up. Not using it as avoidance but a both/and experience.
Holding both can be challenging, especially when curled up in a ball and feeling like death is near.
It’s space for both.
I remember thinking - what if a year from now I was wildly happy and had a life I couldn’t have imagined. What if I need this to get there.
What if my future self told me I needed this? How would I hold this experience in a more precious and grateful way, with the pain being a portal to something unimaginably wonderful.
If something unimaginably awful can happen, then absolutely something unimaginably wonderful could also happen.
As great as I feel like my imagination is, my human brain is still limited. If we think our future is limited to our imaginations… we’re leaving out an infinite amount of possibilities.
